Welcome to the world of Iliac Artery Reconstruction, by Simon Owens.

25 years of abuse on a bike, 20 of them spent racing, have left me with bit of a problem. The right external iliac artery (goes from the aorta to the leg) has developed a kink where the psoas muscle has contributed to compressing it. The resultant kink then suffers from a turbulent blood flow, that and the combination of constant flex/compression causes the artery to harden and narrow.

If you are one of the knob heads who has taken me out the back of a break in the last two years because I have suddenly, inexplicably stopped contributing despite going well just a minute before, this is why. One of my legs has stopped working. Don't worry though, I have a long memory and after 20 years have the patience to sit on for real while you flog yourself to death trying to drop me next year...if the surgery worked.

I had the surgery on 7th October. The plan was to take some vein from the bicep, open the iliac artery, clean it out, release it from the psoas muscle, then patch the artery with the vein. Sadly, when the bicep was opened the veins weren't big enough, so they opened my groin...veins also not big enough. Now I have a patch made from Bovine Pericardium...cow heart sack to you.

The surgeon, top chap called Professor Beard, seems very confident in the repair, so hopefully full power will be restored. In the meantime though I have 3 operation sites that are healing, rather sore too, see the pic of the bicep...

I can't show you the picture of my right testicle I'm afraid...the bruising from the abdomen has fallen down there and turned the thing into a gargantuan purple mess. Add to that the fact that I am steadily putting on weight because all I can do is hobble around the house right now.

So there you are, next time someone asks what all the fuss is about, you can tell them that cycling is clearly better for you than drinking, smoking or doing naff all.

By the way, Look North and the Yorkshire Post are both picking on the Yorkshire Hospitals at the moment for charging for car parking and having the audacity to make money from it. I had all this done for the princely sum of £2.30 per appointment. Seems reasonable to me.

Returning to Steve Gibson for this one...

Steve remains the only member of Peak Rc to have been disqualified from a road race...oh, and fined twice...oh yes, and started in between riders in a time trial because he turned up late.

In 2008 he incurred the wrath of a commissaire when he became one of 6 riders that day to be DQd for crossing the white line. Fair enough, but not content with that she fined him £10 and witheld his licence until payment was received.

Apparently you can also be fined for failing to sign on in the afternoon stage of a stage race.

Steve is without doubt the unluckiest member of the club. On top of the above, he went the wrong way in a 10 in 2008 while he was on for a quick ride. 2009 brought a snapped chain...in the break. Broken spokes twice, in the break, and 6 punctures at last count.

The moral of the story is always to take Steve to the race with you because the bad luck magnet is bound to absorb everyone else's.